Review: Wordslut by Amanda Montell

The September book pick for the Feminist Book Club was Wordslut: a feminist guide to taking back the english language by Amanda Montell. I’ve always been curious about language, both in English and Spanish so I was very excited to read this book. Specifically, this book deconstructs various aspects of language that relates to women and other marginalized genders.

Also, Montell gives very good tips for dealing with people who tend to correct grammar (viciously) or those who refuse to learn pronouns, or even how to see beyond how some politicians are portrayed in the media.

At one point in my life I was very involved in editing Wikipedia and bridging the gender gap that exists in biographies about women. At one of the annual conferences there was an editor and researcher who had looked at all the times that the words “she” and “her” were used in the site and it turned out that the majority were referring to ships (boats, cruises, warships, etc) so it wasn’t a surprise to learn that language is not exactly feminist as it stands right now (specifically the English language).

I really enjoyed Montell’s writing style, she talks about linguistics and society while also adding footnotes that made me chuckle while reading. It is clear that she loved researching and writing the book so it was not hard work to read and understand.

Overall, this book made me think about my own use of language. English is not my first language, it is Spanish, and as an immigrant it was very important that my accent, my grammar, everything really was as perfect as it could be. I’m often told that I don’t have an accent, people have remarked how good my English is, and well, yep, that’s the point! Of course, there is something lost there too, a part of my own identity is wrapped into how I speak and use both English and Spanish. A different personality comes out when I’m speaking Spanish with my family or friends, and same with English! If anything, Montell validated a lot of my feelings about how the English language is quite unfair towards women of color like me, and other marginalized groups. That in itself felt really good, to see the reasons why I don’t use curse words generally and why I triple check spellings and grammar even while texting with a random friend.

I think this book also gave me the confidence to use language (all of it) and explore it fully without fear of being “wrong”. The biggest lesson for me was that people like me have the power to change language for the better. We don’t have to keep trying to stay within the “rules” because at the end of the day those rules are always changing. And, if these changes to language will empower women and other marginalized genders, why wouldn’t we make those changes?

If you’re at all interested in language, feminism, and just a book that is interesting and so so fun to read, definitely check this out!

PS. This was the second book for the Magical – Orilium Readathon!

Review: Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q Sutanto

I received “Dial A for Aunties” by Jesse Q Sutanto in my monthly Feminist Book Club Box, which was all about beach reads! This month the FBC donated 5% of the proceeds to Students Against Voter Suppression, an organization of high school and college students dedicated to protecting voting rights.

This book was a lot of fun! While this book does involve romance, that’s not all in terms of a defining genre. There is the theme of immigrant family dynamics, accidental murder, all set at a brand new hotel, venue for a Chinese-Indonesian wedding between two very wealthy families.

We are following Meddy, a young photographer who works along with her Ma and aunties in order to provide wedding services, from the photography to the cake, flowers, makeup, and even the entertainment. The night before the wedding she is set up by her Ma on a blind date with the owner of the hotel where the wedding will take place. She can’t just not go of course, even though she’s not happy that her mother set her up, she will go and make sure that her family does not get fired from the wedding. Unfortunately, things go really badly and now Meddy and her family have to figure out a way to discard a body while working a wedding!

I think the main thing I loved about this book was the relationship between Meddy and her family. I mean they are all literally trying to get away with murder for each other. There are also these very interesting dynamics between Ma and her sisters, there’s jealousy, resentments, and condescension, all while still truly loving and protecting each other over anything else. These dynamics make for a very interesting project in trying to hide the body since all of them want to be the one to lead them to victory. All of this leads to some very hysterical moments throughout the book that truly had me laughing out loud.

The other aspect of the book is the romance. I tend to be frustrated by romances in some books because the characters tend to have silly reasons or misunderstandings about why they break up or why there is some kind of drama. In this case, Meddy’s relationship with her ex was not ended due to a silly misunderstanding. Meddy is Chinese-Indonesian, daughter of immigrants with big expectations on her shoulders. It isn’t about just becoming a big doctor/lawyer for her, it is about not leaving her family (like other young members of the family have done) and disappointing them by seeking her own life. This was something that really hit home for me. There is a sense of duty to family that exists in many cultures and what I read in this book was very close to what I’ve experienced in my family. The guilt of thinking of yourself first causes one to make certain life decisions that might not be the same if we were just thinking of ourselves. However, there is always the fortune that our families stand by us no matter what, and all of it tends to be a mind game that we trap ourselves in.

Something I really liked as well was the use of English, Indonesian, and Mandarin throughout the book. Ma and her sisters speak mostly in Indonesian and Mandarin but Maddy is not fluent in those languages so she has a hard time keeping up with them. Meanwhile Ma is not 100% fluent in English so some ideas are lost in translation (especially in regards to that date she set for her daughter! OMG). It’s amazing because in my family we speak both English and Spanish so there are definitely some times when I have to ask my dad to elaborate a bit on what some words mean or when my mom will ask about what some term means as well. Conversations simply last longer and we learn to be a bit more patient with each other when we chat.

Overall, I loved the journey that this book too me in, from the blind date, the twists and turns, the reveals, and all the family antics, this is a really fun book to read. I also loved that I identified with a lot of the relationship dynamics. If you’re searching for a book that takes you on a wild ride, this is one to check out!

July Thoughts & Wrap Up

Well, July is over… where has the time gone?! I wanted to write a bit about the month since it was a pretty intense roller coaster.

I haven’t talked much about my life outside of this blog so here’s a bit of an introduction to what my life is right now. My name is Paulina, I am 32 years old, and I work as a scientist for a biotech company. I just bought a house with my parents so I live with them and my sister, who is currently in college. Since March 2020, due to the pandemic, my work is fully remote, so I am pretty much home all the time, which is great for reading! I also have a cat named Seiko who is my reading buddy and loves the fact that I’m sitting around reading and chilling when I’m not at my desk working.

Me! In my Cat PJs!

So this month there were a lot of changes at work and also a lot of deadlines. I am so grateful that my coworkers are such a great team to work with, even when facing a big deadline full of complex work. Because of all this I definitely had to be good about setting boundaries and setting time aside for basics like exercise, reading, good food, hydrating, etc. I can’t say I was completely successful everyday since I did have trouble sleeping some nights since my anxiety would bubble up some days.

My anxiety isn’t all about work of course, as a new homeowner (wow still feels weird saying that!) I am figuring out what it means to maintain a house, from the plumbing to the landscaping, it’s a lot! Of course, I get to do that with my family and, while we tend to agree on most of these decisions, it’s still a whole other part of my life that’s new to me so it brings me quite a bit of uncertainty at times.

Social interactions in person are very few right now. We are in a pandemic and, while my family is all vaccinated, we are still taking all precautions possible. This is not just for our own well-being, but we also recognize that there are people out there who can’t get vaccinated due to health reasons or because they are children who can’t get vaccinated yet. I also think of all the people in other countries where they don’t have enough vaccines, or where their governments haven’t been good about managing the distribution of the vaccines. I strongly believe that we can’t get past this era of pandemics if we don’t think of the rest of the world. (Add that to my mental stress!)

But not all is bad and anxiety inducing! I have been having a great time diving back into books and connecting with people online. There are now three book clubs that I participate in, and one long buddy read, that have definitely kept me happily reading. One is with friends I know in real life but live far away in Mexico and Canada and it has been great to chat with them every Sunday about books I never would have picked myself! We tend to pick books that are very interesting but could be either a hit or miss, which is great for this group. Another is with people I did not know previous to joining but we are all alumni who received the Questbridge scholarship. These are such great discussions of just excellent books and I’ve definitely made some new friends in this group. The third is much bigger with the Feminist Book Club subscription box and we get to join Q&As with authors of really diverse books as well as have zoom chats with other members of the club. While I don’t personally know all the members, it’s so great to meet with people online and chat about important topics like gender, social issues, activism, and life in general.

So, while July was stressful and busy, I had great ups to balance the stress. I managed to read 5 books:

• Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan: I finally finished the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy! I had a lot of fun with it and I look forward to reading more romance, it’s a genre that I need to explore more for sure.
• Reinas Malditas by Cristina Morato: This was not a great book but it was so much fun discussing it with my friends. I learned a lot from our conversations but not enough from the actual book to make me love it. Too bad!
• A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini: This was a heartbreaking story that gave me a lot of history along with a beautiful story. I gotta check out more of Hosseini’s books.
• The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn: Another romance book! These have really surprised me because I feel like they are more about the men than the women, which is quite interesting. I am overall enjoying the Bridgerton series and I look forward to reading the other books.
• Fierce FairyTales by Nikita Gill: Poetry is not normally in my bookshelves so it was great to read these poems inspired by fairy tales! I am now following Gill on Instagram and want to read more poetry this year!

All in all, a busy, productive, stressful, fun month! August is looking to continue to be busy at work and also fun with the book clubs. How did your July go? Are you excited for August and the peak of summer?

Review: Fierce FairyTales by Nikita Gill

Fierce FairyTales by Nikita Gill

One of the highlights of the month (for the past three months) has been getting the Feminist Book Club Subscription Box! For the month of July there was a theme of poetry and Fierce FairyTales was the book chosen for the box. This book is by Nikita Gill, a writer and poet who has become pretty popular online with her thought-inducing posts about fairy tales, mythology, and how it all relates to what it means to be human.

I thoroughly enjoyed her work in Fierce FairyTales! I don’t normally read poetry so it was a breath of fresh air to slow down a bit and experience these poems that encapsulated an idea about a particular fairy tale. Each one took one character or idea from a fairy tale and flipped it in order to show how messed up each story truly is.

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A post shared by Nikita Gill (@nikita_gill)

Take Rapunzel, she’s trapped by her mother in a tower in a completely toxic relationship and she has to wait for a prince to come and save her. To top it all, the only way he can get to her is to climb on her hair. Gill tells a story where perhaps, Rapunzel cuts her own hair and uses it to get down!

Growing up I saw these fairy tales as ideals, the princess waits in her castle/tower/cell for a prince to come and save her and then they marry and they are happily ever after. The princess doesn’t really need to think or accomplish anything except wait and go with the prince who comes save her. Of course that’s not true, but it definitely left me with some subconscious feelings about feeling shame about being an independent and strong woman.

Another cool thing about this book is that Gill illustrates it too. She has beautiful drawings with some of the poems that really helped me add that other dimension to the poem. Some of the poems were very uplifting and inspiring while others are heartbreaking and just touched those tender bits in my heart. One such poem was The Giant’s Daughter, which I will share here so you can have a sample of what to expect if you choose to read this wonderful book:

The Giant’s Daughter

Teaching yourself to take up space
is like trying to love someone
who is violently resisting your love.

It is walking into a room
and trying not to make yourself scarce.
It is to be mindful of your own shrinking.

It is to become comfortable with
being uncomfortably aware that you,
like Houdini, have mastered the art
of escaping whilst being watched.

It is learning how not to do it
even when every bone in your body
has been taught to go into hiding.

Fierce FairyTales by Nikita Gill, pg. 119

Do you enjoy poetry? Even if you don’t read it much, like me, if you like fairy tales and re-tellings, definitely check this out!

Review: A Year Without A Name by Cyrus Dunham

A Year Without A Name by Cyrus Dunham

You have the right to say who you are without setting it in stone. You have the right to ask questions, to live with and in doubt, to try things on for size. Your life is your experiment. You can try to catch mist. When you learn that you can’t catch it, you can go outside and feel it on your skin.

Preface, pg.xx

I received this book in my subscription of the Feminist Book Club (FBC) box for June and I’m so so happy that I got to read it! As part of the FBC membership we also get a Q&A with the author, which happened earlier today. It was so great to hear from the author about their process and their experiences since writing the book.

A Year Without A Name is a snapshot of various moments throughout the time when Cyrus Dunham was exploring their gender and their body identity. These snapshots go from his childhood to the present time in the book and it’s very circular. It’s not a book that’s easy to understand right away because it deals with a lot of dissociation form the moment and also emotional trauma. Dunham takes us back to the time in their childhood when they tried to fit into being a girl and the feeling of failing at that because they did not identify as a girl. Then the feeling of having to choose between being a woman or a man in the present, along with everything that comes with that decision.

For me it was very valuable to learn about the experience of struggling with gender identity through Dunham’s point of view. It is amazing how they managed to translate those feelings and thoughts as they were happening and construct a memoir around those moments in time.

In the Q&A Dunham talked a bit about how they like to write into questions and not necessarily answers. That is exactly what A Year Without a Name is, it is an exploration into questions. Questions about gender, about the role of people in a world built around a gender binary, about the relationship of our selves and our bodies. It made me question my own relationships and not necessarily have answers but simply explore those questions for myself. The quotation at the beginning of this post embodies that idea that each individual should be able to explore and experiment however they like, try certain ideas, beliefs, identities, for themselves and see what fits and what doesn’t. We don’t have to have answers or the expectation of an answer when we explore our bodies and identities.

If you are looking for a memoir about gender identity exploration definitely check out A Year Without A Name, it is an incredible opportunity to see someone’s experience in their exploration of self, one that is not often in the spotlight.